Wednesday 16 May 2012

Stalemates or just mates


In chess the goal is to win. Duh! But we want the same in life. So the fad is to call compromise a win-win or war lose-lose. Secretly though we want to succeed and feel good. So don’t really mind if others lose.
Stalemates go against that. In Chinese chess the player who causes a stalemate wins, but in International chess it’s a draw. Maybe this shows the western mindset more accepting of no winner situations.
Winning in real life is quite ethereal. First, we can change the rules as we go. Then, each person has their own winning scenario to make it easy to convince ourselves of success or failure. This kind of thinking may help in work, sports or games but why make a win-lose distinction in our closest relationships?
Real relationships are about mutual compromise and devotion. It’s kind of pursuing a benevolent no win scenario. Maybe stalemate is the goal of good friendships.

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