Big red bus

What do I want? Seems like a simple question. But not easy to answer with complete clarity or honesty. We seem to lie the most about this to people around us.
If parents or society or friends or whatever we think is cool have a different impression of us, we lie to make ourselves seem cool or acceptable. I've heard a father tell his son not to be a bus driver but to own the bus company instead. What's missing from the conversation is that young boys want to drive a bus just because it looks like fun to operate something so big and eye catching.
As we get older we lie to cover up dreams that seem too big or unachievable. We just don't want people to laugh at our ability and to avoid facing our weakness.
I have a dream that has been edited so often, I'm a little out of touch with myself. What is the big red bus for me?