Savor!

Change is here so move on to savor life.
My new blog:
Savor! and listen to "Be Grateful"

Olympic dreams

We've heard it all before. These athletes train like mad to beat someone by a 1/100 second. Watching it is exciting. I'm sure winning is great.
If hardship is training in disguise, we are all training for some brief magic moment. An inspiring word, a hug, chastising even and the best one: entertaining angels without knowing it.

Maybe if we all get into our best shape as a person, these winning moments can multiply and make life a little better. There is a choice: stay in our valley or climb mount Olympus.

Under the influence

I think teenage is not the only time we become invaded by hormones. No matter how mature minded, civilized, cultured, rich, educated or otherwise well prepared, endocrine forces invade our bodies. You might think I'm just blaming chemicals for our personal weakness. But we blame teenage oddness on it, why not the blues?
I see my own emotional ups and down in a daily cycle so clearly now except when I'm under their influence. So next time I feel down, maybe its not the person sitting across from me, or the person who ran into me even if it's on purpose....
Just take a deep breath. A miracle could have happened while we're fuming, feeling sorry, or just disappointed, and I don't want to miss that do I.

Knowing

Mary (my sister's) daughter Lily watched the Lion King 11 times in a row and drank soy sauce apparently. At least the little girl knows what she wants. During the 2 weeks since my foot was freed, much has happened. Doors are ajar and I started to get confused about which to choose. Why not be more like Lily? I want it when I want it one day at a time but just with a little more responsibility because we can't all drink soy sauce now can we.

If what I just said does not make sense, the future never makes complete sense. It's like looking through the rain drops on a window. It's never quite as sharp as you'd like until you take risks and experience what's there. 

Power outage?

An important phone call did not come last night because there was a power outage somewhere in the States. Talk about acts of God. The irony is that when you realize where real power lies, there is no fear, no confusion, no shying away but freedom to take enlightened steps to build the future. You see, electricity may have stopped but no power outage.

Nature refresher

My father was right (damn!). Morning air is good for you especially near plants. I live about a block from the botanical gardens and have only been there in the afternoon or evening. Instead of the gym, I walked up the hill through the subtropical trees in the rain while the sun also shone. By the time I got home past the early rush down the escalators, I felt light, clear and ready to fight Goliath.
It's one of the things my dad said I had to do: be refreshed by nature. Actually it was something about negative ions... what were the other must dos?...

Nibbled

I got a good nibble on my CV this week and will get a second phone interview tomorrow!

Talk about timing: a week since I've been wearing normal shoes. Yesterday, I even lost my slight limp from compensating for the uneven walking heights of each foot for 5 months. It was also the first very natural and impressive interview so far.

Uncertainty is the new normal?

When I started this blog, I was in the middle of emotional doldrums. It was due to boredom, feeling restricted and a perceived silence. Much of my busy, social noise was gone and I felt uncertain of myself and the future. During my 18 day prison and 6 month investigation, I just wanted the whole thing to end so I'd be safe. Kind of like wanting a horror movie to end (because it was too frightening or just plane bad). But in life the movie does not end. Fears, uncertainty, risk, danger, disease and death haunt even atheists. When I was found not guilty, some of the horror followed me because I am always a part of the problem; not just the extraordinary circumstance. Even if it affected my health, I had to deal first with myself.

The future is uncertain because it has not been built. It's easy to hide behind temporary fixes of our routines, schedules and constant electronic contact thinking they give security. But they do not remove risk. Just like being certain the Sun rises, cannot guarantee we will not die today. Gruesome thinking or just life?

Uncertainty is normal but not new.

Free at last

Yes, my foot is free.

Too positive?

When I had my middle toe amputation, it was suggested I was being too positive about the surgery. Maybe. But during my voluntary hermitage as the small wound healed, I believe I'm overly positive about people I care about. Always thinking they are at their best despite obvious signs of negative behavior. Without caring any less, seeing the truth of the moment could mean a separation or retreat from closeness. In the end, change is personal. All a third party can do is be there.

In front of CY's new house

I know I know. HSBC is in the picture but I'm facing Government House. The picture is what you see if you lived there.
Just another view of familiar things.

Space time continuum and being happy.

Existentialism and quantum mechanics were the holy grail for a younger Shing. Before geeks made billions and success of "the Big Bang theory", my physics major was an obscure unnoticed past. Now it's kind of mainstream I'll talk about it boldly.
Time is just a measurement of change. But it's necessary for us mortals to see how much time is left. So while we need it for science and convenience, measuring anything is by definition ... limiting.
Existentialism on the other hand is not in fashion. But it kind of encourages us not to be obsessed with time. For if only the present moment has practical and philosophic significance, why look at the clock?
Quantum mechanics is far cooler because you can't build an iPad without it. When you zero in on the smallest possible increment in time, energy only exists in distinct levels with nothing in between.
What I learn from "existential quanta" is that time doesn't matter in personal happiness.
I'm either completely happy or not at all, any one moment of existence, so recording how long I've been happy or unhappy is not useful.
Living moment by moment is actually a scientific and profoundly philosophical method on the level of special relativity theory.
If you're lost by what I said, just know it's cool to be a geek.

Enjoying the view

Seeing from another perspective is not easy but once you've done it, it's addictive. People use iPads to take photos because things look better in the big screen. I've been enjoying seeing my life through new eyes: a little like seeing Central from the green side.

Relaxed before dinner but setting up jobs jobs work work since dawn.

Politics and me

Everything is about power but I did not know it applied to myself. It's too easy to trap myself in the restrictions of the moment in order to be opportunistic. It's like jail which I do know something about.

Money is always an issue. Most people feel trapped by the lack of it. If money is the only limitation then all rich people would be like gods. Maybe some think they are.

True power comes from within. It is about security in who I am and knowing my personal purpose. This is a creative and interactive process more about love than money, power or sex: 3 things that seem to make the world turn. Look at the people behind the powerful, sexy or rich who may really feel weak, cowardly and wanting. They may just need someone to love, just like the rest of us.

We can't escape politics when dealing with others but we can't blame anyone when it comes to me myself and I. If politics is power play, a more genuine personal approach may get us out of self-imposed jail.

Meaning in creating

It's hard to imagine what you can't see with your eyes. But that's what faith and hope are about: being sure if what is not there ... yet.

This is possible because we can sense truth by experience and feeling. Parents with children, a couple in love, 2 best friends, sometimes even a stranger who seem to know.... it's subjective and can be real at least at that moment. What if 2 people share the same dream?

As I'm seeing my road ahead with some clarity, I'm getting the urge to draw or write about it. I guess this is why I'm writing my blog. Talking about it with others is encouraging me to no ends. It's fun. And everyday it gives new meaning to the "mundane".

Some parts of it need a little secrecy or delay until a face to face.

Dawn

I'm finally seeing my next step in specific detail. It's like a morning light is washing away the darkness. What was a shadow in the moonlight now appears illuminated by gentle sunlight of magic hour. I'm about to be on the road again.

Brewing excitement

Sounds like making beer only better because the relaxed buzz stays with you the whole day. That's how today felt.

Got in touch with more people, registered my experience with more international recruiters. Chatting, dreaming and not bored. Just like the overflowing of good fresh brew, I'm walking talking and about to bounce back into the mainstream. Ready to make a difference.

Busy making noise

Keeping busy. Good or bad? OK we need to work and live. But do we need all the noise?

I'd become addicted to "excitement" or the rabble of discussion. If it's not the phone, it's the news, or even silent noise like texts or emails... When I go back to the hotel after meetings, I instinctively turn on the TV.

After years of filling my head with sounds (even if it's good music), I'm finally able to hear myself think without the noise. It's a matter of coming to terms myself and liking my own company. Sometimes it's in silence we see more clearly.

Inspite of it all

The weather is heavy, hot and drowsy. Despite the lousy outside where I'm perpetually blinking and making an effort to breath (but not too deeply), I feel good inside.
I've gotten so used to waiting for some resolution that I habitually plan the end but forget to live.
Today, I could feel down because going out makes for congested breathing and fed up minds. But in spite of it all I'm alert, happy but just carrying groggy eye lids.

la liberté